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It's Not Me, It's You

from Beating Off the Loneliness by Tim de Vil

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lyrics

I stopped smoking marijuana
got addicted to chicken pho
now I head to bed before Taco Bell closes
I’m so goddamn grown up

maybe now I could call my mother
someday other than her birthday
start a pension, or exercising,
stop being so dependent
live for someone else,
something bigger than myself

like Hell, I’d tell a friend secrets
that don’t reflect my better sense
God forbid that they’d catch wind
of what I really think
and when the awful truth
decides to bubble to the surface
contest its existence
dress it up in excuses

and let ‘em try
to sift through the pieces
let ‘em try
to piece together meaning
let ‘em try
to think they make a difference
let ‘em try
let ‘em try

I took a sip of liquid courage
you know I never liked the hard stuff
good news the billboard says, says ”don’t be disappointed
the road to happiness, is the first exit on the left"

I nail myself against the cross
need some help to drive the last one
can you swing a hammer with your mouth shut?
at least I’ve got something to fall back on
is that not better off?

not like that time I got so high
I thought I died and gone to Utah
I tried to find my way back home
by sleeping on the futon
not once had I thought of how I got
there in the first place
if I could fix myself
and not be right
well, I'd stay broken

but I tried
to sift through the pieces
and I tried
to find some other meaning
and I tried
to think I make a difference
and I tried
at least a couple times

credits

from Beating Off the Loneliness, released January 13, 2017

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